The Giant that Defeated David Or Dating for Dummies

II Samuel 11:1-27

“Guard your heart and wait for the one who will treasure it. God will provide when you’re ready, not lonely.” -Adam Cappa

One of the most exciting things in a young persons’ life is when you begin to like someone, only to find out they like you too.  My, how your heart leaps believing another person sees how truly incredible you are inside and out. It is then your self-esteem looks past the zits in the mirror, and blooms into confidence as someone utters the simple words, “I like you.”.

David had killed a lion and a bear, defeated Goliath, outran Saul and became the king of the mighty nation of Israel.  Yet with all his victories, the one “giant” that defeated him was “dating”. The story of David and Bathsheba is given to provide us with a guide so our joy in dating doesn’t turn into a nightmare.

“And it came to pass, …at the time when kings go forth to battle, that David sent Joab, and his servants with him, and all Israel… But David tarried still at Jerusalem.”. At a time when “kings” went to battle, David decided to stay home and send someone else in his place.  This put David where he did not need to be and left him bored having nothing to do. 

The number one danger in dating is not having a plan. “Just hanging out” can place you in situations with nothing to do, bored and a couple alone. An old saying goes, “Idle hands are the devil’s workshop.” In other words, when you don’t have a plan Satan goes to work to tempt you to sin.

King David sat on the roof of the palace, while all the men of fighting age were defending the nation. David was not where he was supposed to be, and his boredom created an opportunity for the “giant” to slay him. “And it came to pass in an eveningtide, that David arose from off his bed, and walked upon the roof of the king’s house: and from the roof he saw a woman washing herself; and the woman was very beautiful to look upon.” With no one “watching” David took the opportunity to fulfill his lust, placing his own desires above his obedience to God and what was best for Bathsheba.  

Destruction comes when we become passion driven rather than allowing godly wisdom to direct us.  “And David sent and enquired after the woman. And one said, Is not this Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam, the wife of Uriah the Hittite?” God’s Word leaves us no doubt that David knew she was married. Yet with her husband gone to battle David took advantage of the opportunity. “And David sent messengers, and took her; and she came in unto him, and he lay with her; …and she returned unto her house.”

Consequences uncover even the most secret of sins.  When Bathsheba left the palace, David thought their encounter was hidden and the one time action would never happen again. But our disobedience can produce consequences that effect far more than our lives. Consequences can stretch throughout our generations. David soon found out that Bathsheba was going to have his baby. One action produced another sin, then another. Soon Bathsheba’s husband was ordered to the front of the battle where he would be killed. Although David would marry Bathsheba, their child would die at birth. The citizens of Israel lost respect for their king as he tried to hid his sins.  David’s sons lost respect for their father, as they learned of his sin. When they began to commit great sins, David did not correct them. How could he have such great guilt and sin in his life and tell them how to live. So David’s family became a shamble, ridden by rape, murder and broken relationships.

David wrote Psalm 3 when he was fleeing for his life from Absalom his son. Falling on his face before God, David writes, “Lord, how are they increased that trouble me! many are they that rise up against me. Many there be which say of my soul, There is no help for him in God. Selah.  But thou, O LORD, art a shield for me; my glory, and the lifter up of mine head.” In the kingdom when a person had sinned against the king, he would crawl on their stomach before the king as an act of repentance.  If the king took his scepter and lifted the person’s head, they were forgiven.  If not, they were taken out to be executed or imprisoned. God had forgiven David of all his sins, but he understood the consequences were a result of his own choices.

God’s plan for your dating years is not a plan to rob you of “fun”.  In his enormous love for you , God has someone worth waiting for , that will reflect His love in your life.  Until then date smart.  Don’t leave your house without a set plan. “Hanging out” can produce idleness and opportunity to sin. Date someone that loves God more than anyone or anything. You cannot experience genuine unconditional love unless you first know the love of God.  Be willing to wait for God’s plan rather than rush ahead and only have disappointment. As you wait pray and ask the Holy Spirit to guide your heart and help you to become the godly mate, he created you to be.